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Why do your children blame you for your divorce?

On Behalf of | Dec 7, 2022 | Divorce |

Ending your marriage is a difficult process, and even if you and your spouse commit to remaining amicable, it will still have impacts on every member of a New Jersey family. In many situations, the children struggle the most, and they may experience strong emotions in the midst of all of the changes happening around them. Kids may feel mad, sad, frustrated, confused and much more, and you may find that they express these feelings in a negative way toward you.  

There are times when a kid may blame one parent for a divorce. Whether you are the parent that your child perceives to be at-fault for the divorce or you are watching your child blame the other parent, it is beneficial to understand why this is happening and what you can do to help your child. As a parent, your support during this time is critical for the mental and emotional well-being of your child.  

Helping kids understand divorce 

One of the primary reasons why a child may blame one parent for a divorce is because he or she cannot understand the complexities of adult relationships. Your child is likely not capable of fully comprehending why the divorce happened, and a complete explanation may not be appropriate. While you may have the temptation to try and talk them out of their feelings, this may not be useful or effective. It may be most important to simply recognize how they feel and acknowledge how difficult all of the changes must have been for them. 

It may also be best for your kids to provide them with as much stability and security as possible through a thoughtful custody and visitation plan. In order to do this, you may have to set aside your own personal feelings and focus on their needs above all else. Eventually, you may find that your kids no longer blame one parent for what happened, and they may adjust well to their post-divorce life. 

The future of your family 

While a divorce can change many parts of your life, it is possible to secure terms that will provide your kids with what they need to feel loved and secure. It is normal for kids to feel anger or to place blame for the divorce on one parent, and you can take steps to support them and guide them through this difficult time of transition.